Liquid Love was intended for the Music CD and leaked onto the internet on 15 August 2008.
Six days after my second soul retrieval session, and fifty-eight days after arriving in North Carolina, Christmas Eve finally came. It was time for the family to gather around for some holiday bliss. The big announcement this Christmas was my niece, Abigail’s (See Physical Attraction) engagement to her boyfriend, Eran. He had asked her to marry him earlier that morning.
Abigail was entirely beside herself, and as for her engagement ring, it was beautiful. Everyone in the family toasted their engagement and took a moment to welcome Eran into the family. I was extremely happy for Abigail and Eran, and very grateful to be in North Carolina while the magical event took place. I was a very proud uncle. I thought it was interesting that Abigail was the same age (23) as I was when I first met Thaddeus. I was delighted that Abigail and Eran had found each other and I wished them all of the happiness in the world. I just knew these two were meant to be together. I hoped it was for the rest of their lives. Abigail turned to me at one point, and said, “Okay! Now it’s your turn!” Jokingly, in response, I said, “Well after all that I’ve been through, I better get a bigger ring!” We both laughed.
The next day, Christmas morning arrived, and it was time to hit the road. After spending the last fifty-nine days with family, I couldn’t wait to get back to my own life and back into my routine. I was ready to settle into my next apartment and get back into the gym. It had been weeks since I had worked out and I was beginning to feel very lazy about a lot of things. I didn’t like that feeling. I was very grateful for my time with my family, but it was time to get back to my reality.
After some consideration, I decided that my journey would not continue in Santa Fe. I knew Santa Fe was too small, too expensive and too isolated at this stage in my life. I decided that I would start out this next chapter six-hours north of Santa Fe, in Denver, Colorado. The main reason I chose Denver was that it was very similar to Santa Fe as far as location, but it was a larger city and had more to offer a single person. Denver also had easy access to the Rocky Mountains and many national parks, and would also give my family a new place to visit if they ever decided they wanted to venture out of North Carolina.
And so I loaded up my new Ford F-150, which I had purchased a couple of weeks before Christmas, and headed west on Interstate-40.
My first day on the road took me from Burlington, North Carolina, to Jackson, Tennessee, where I spent Christmas night in a cheap hotel (Old Hickory Inn) off of the Interstate. The next morning I left Jackson and drove through Memphis, Little Rock and across the snow-covered Ozark mountains, to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. I spent the next two days held up in my hotel room, waiting for the weather to change. On Friday morning, December 28, after the weather broke I continued west on Interstate-40 and as soon as I hit the Texas border, met an ice-covered Interstate. I spent the next several hours driving twenty miles per hour and fighting bumper-to-bumper traffic through dangerous driving conditions. It was at that moment that I was glad I purchased my truck, and I was very grateful that it had a four-wheel-drive vehicle.
After a couple of hours of on-and-off-road maneuvering, I eventually ran out of the snow and continued west through Amarillo, Texas, Albuquerque, New Mexico and then north to Santa Fe. I spent a couple of days in Santa Fe, visiting my friend, Joel, and packing up my things, which had been in storage since late October. On Sunday, December 30, with my U-Haul in tow, I said good-bye and headed north towards Denver on Interstate-25. By the time I arrived in Denver I was completely exhausted. From the moment I left North Carolina, until the time I came to Colorado, I counted over twenty red-tail hawks sitting in trees, on the side of the interstate. During my drive through Arkansas, one of the hawks flew out to greet me, passed directly over my truck and then circled back to his post. I felt like the great spirits had been watching over me during this particular drive.
Once I arrived in Denver, I put my things in storage and settled in with my new temporary housemate, whom I had met through another ad on CraigsList. (Thank God for CraigsList!) His name was Julius. I spent New Year’s Eve with him and his friends and ended up having a nice evening. Everyone was extremely nice and a lot of fun. Even though it was my first time meeting everyone, I couldn’t help but think how comfortable I felt in a room full of complete strangers. I never for a moment felt out of place.
Almost everyone left the party before midnight because they didn’t want to be on the icy roads with all of the drunk drivers, so I brought the New Year in with Julius, his friend Nason and an older lesbian couple from next door. Their names were Bethany and Bethel. These two ladies were completely amazing! They both were in their late 80’s and had met in their 40’s. They had been together for 42 years. I sat and listened to them tell the story of how they met, their time together and their travels around the world to places like Ireland, Scotland, Afghanistan, New Zealand, and Australia, to name a few. At 87, they both were still going strong and had plans to return to Scotland in the early part of 2008. It was a complete honor to bring in the New Year with these two incredible ladies.
I spent the next week getting to know Julius and another friend of his, Ben. Both guys were utterly fascinating and a lot of fun.
As I continued to live with Julius on a temporary basis, I began my search for my place. During the initial search, I decided to visit Full Moon Books, Coffees and Events bookstore to see if they had a community board with housing listings. They did not have a community board, but they did have a psychic fair that day. It was January 06, 2008.
As soon as I realized what was going on, I decided to sit down with one of the tarot card readers whose name was Eve. Instantly, I decided that my main focus in our reading would be to figure out which Denver neighborhood would be best suited for me. After a quick introduction, Eve asked me to pull a few cards and then she proceeded with the reading. Without any help from me, she immediately began talking about the last two and a half years of my life. Without going into any specific details, she said that I did the right thing by removing myself from a particular environment. She said it was one of the best things I could have done for myself at that specific moment. She confirmed that my time in Portland was a tremendous time of spiritual growth, but was no longer a nurturing environment for me, and that’s why spirit wanted me to pick up and leave. She said there had been a lot of love there, but it would have turned into a considerable period of jealousy and deception if I had stayed. The reading then moved to the subject of my relocation to Denver. She informed me that Denver was founded in November of 1858, under the sign of Scorpio, and would be very compatible with my sun sign, Cancer. Good things were going to happen for me in Denver, she said. As the “Luxury” card appeared, she said that I was going to experience a period of luxury within the next year. We then focused on specific neighborhoods in the Denver area, and after we figured out which ones best suited me, focused our attention on my soul retrieval. I wanted to see what effects my soul retrieval had on my life and my spiritual growth. We pulled the “Happiness” and the “High Priestess” card. She informed me that my soul retrieval was a tremendous success and congratulated me on completing such a delicate, important task. We then ended the reading, she served me a piece of cake and sent me on my way. It totally reminded of a scene out of the movie, The Matrix, when the Oracle served, Neo, chocolate chip cookies. I left feeling pleasantly surprised and completely rejuvenated.
Two days later, on January 8, during the first new moon of 2008, I signed a six-month lease on my new place in Lakewood, Colorado. It had a large deck on the north side of the house, and a small creek on the property that flowed down from the Rocky Mountains. The location was perfect, only a mile from my gym and the Belmar community of Lakewood, Colorado, and a couple of miles from the Full Moon bookstore. I couldn’t wait to settle into my new place that came with a fireplace.
Not long after I settled into my new place, I noticed an unusual bird sitting on a tree by the creek that ran by my house. It was a type of bird that I had never seen before. After several days I noticed that the bird kept returning to the same area, day after day. After taking a closer look and after doing some research online, I discovered that the bird was a Merlin Falcon. According to my research, the Merlin Falcon spent most of its winter in parts of the US., including Colorado. I instantly looked up the shaman meaning for Falcon and was blown away when I discovered that it carried the following wisdom: Assisting in soul healing, Accompanying the soul back to the soul world, Teaching swiftness, Learning the aerobatics of life, Controlling speed and movement, Understanding magic.
At that point, I realized that the magic that I had experienced in Oregon, had followed me to Colorado. I was grateful for the wisdom the Falcon had to offer and decided to name him or her, Merlin. This sighting let me know that I made the right decision in renting this particular place in Lakewood. It was the perfect place for my soul to continue its healing.
As I moved my things into my new home and began unpacking, I came across the box that held all of my items for my altar. It wasn’t long before I came across various stones and mementos which Dolos had given me as gifts. As I touched each piece, particularly my drum, I thought back to all of the good times he and I shared. All of those things were still very special to me. I set up my altar and for the first time in several months did an in-depth meditation. I sent Dolos many blessings, lots of love and a swift kick in the ass during my meditation…and then turned my focus to the future and everything Colorado had in store.
Within the first few weeks, I started attending a drumming circle every Tuesday night, at the Full Moon bookstore. Drumming was something that really interested me and instantly became a Tuesday night ritual. My first night turned out to be an incredible jam session for me and everyone in the group. There were some fantastic drums and drummers at the circle. I don’t think I’ve ever beat a drum so passionately in my entire life. The rhythms just poured from my body, my mind, and my spirit. I found myself amazed at being able to keep up with what appeared to be several professional drummers. It turned out to be a very magical night.
The following Tuesday night, January 22, 2008, I drummed in memory of one of my favorite actors, Heath Ledger.
On February, 11, a month after moving into my house by the creek, Paco (See Hung Up) and his American Indian brothers and sisters set out on a 5-month journey, on foot, that would take them from San Francisco, California, to Washington, DC. They were scheduled to arrive in the nation’s capital on July 11, 2008. The event was known as The Longest Walk 2. Since I contributed to a fundraiser that Paco sponsored several months before I left Portland, I was excited to see this event get underway. They walked with the message: “All Life is Sacred, Save Mother Earth.” They also walked for the Seventh Generation, their youth, for peace, for justice, for the healing of Mother Earth, and for the cure of their people who have diabetes, heart conditions, alcoholism, drug addiction, and other diseases.
Since I was unable to participate in the Longest Walk 2 with Paco and his people, I decided that I would think of them every time I drummed. Through my drumming, I sent Paco and his people bright light, good health, and offered up parts of my spirit for their long journey. Knowing Paco, I knew he would receive my messages through spirit, even though we had lost touch with one another after I left Oregon.
The day after the Longest Walk 2 began, February 12, my sister called to see if I remembered what day it was, and of course, I knew it was my mother’s birthday. She would have been 85 years old on this day. It was nice to remember this day with my sister. Remembering my mother’s birthday made me think back to the second session of my soul retrieval when Dinah told me about a message she received from my mother during one of her meditations. She said the vision that my mother presented to he was that of the Madonna and Child as if to say that no matter what my siblings tried to project onto me, I was always her special one. (Silently, I wondered if perhaps it was my mother’s way of acknowledging this story, as well.) Dinah said that I should always remember this image when I think of my mother and my relationship with my siblings. She reminded me that we’re never too old to heal those wounds from our past and this image would help in the retrieval, healing, and reintegration of that soul part; taken earlier in my life.
Over the next couple of weeks, I fell in love with my new, temporary home in Denver. I especially enjoyed spending time around the creek. The sound of the running water was very soothing and comforting. It reminded me of the creek that Lynn and I used to play in as children. As the days grew longer and warmer, different types of wildlife started showing up. By late February, I had seen several pairs of Mallards, Magpies, Gilded Flickers, Hairy Woodpeckers, Raccoon’s, Skunks, and a couple of Muskrats. A considerable nature lover, it felt great to be surrounded by so much wildlife.
As the end of February approached, I sensed that all of my soul parts had been returned. I could finally feel that I had healed most of the issues which haunted me in my past. I felt more present, more whole and complete and ready to take on new challenges and opportunities.
On February 29, (Leap Day) I decided to celebrate the completion of my soul retrieval. I had experienced several intense reincarnations throughout my life, but none of them were as spiritual, healing or reality-changing as my soul retrieval. With my soul retrieval behind me, it was now time to dive head-on into the next chapter of my life.
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Your love is like liquid
It fills me, it chills me
Can’t hold it, control it
It runs from my touch
It slips through my fingers
The taste of it lingers
Your love is like liquid
I want it so much
Pouring down like rain
Let it wash all over me
Your love is like liquid
It drenches, it quenches
It drowns me, surrounds me
It lies on my skin
It flows through my veins
Just like warm summer rain
Yes your love is like liquid
I feel it within
Pouring down like rain
Let it wash all over me
Flowing through my veins
Liquid love (love love love…)
Liquid love (love love love…)