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April 23, 2010 | Accountability
I woke up in a cantankerous, strange mood. After 65 days on the road, I guess I was entitled. As I began journaling, some raw emotions and feelings began to reveal themselves in my writing.
I spent most of the day expressing these feelings and all of the issues I had with various areas of everyday life. After spending several intense hours writing down my feelings, I questioned whether or not I should publish them in my 72 Days of God journal. With only six more days to go, I needed to be careful. I asked my God to show me a sign and to let me know one way or another if I should express myself so openly and raw.
That evening I got together with one of my favorite people on the planet. Barb was the very first person to donate to my journey, and she did that without hesitation, on the very first day. And while I had spent the previous months questioning our friendship, she proved to me right then and there that she was still a terrific friend. I was so happy that the two of us were able to get together during my journey.
While I sat and listened to Barb tell me about her fantastic wedding which had taken place in Washington, DC during a February blizzard, and how it made the front page of the Washington Post website, I could feel her happiness and joy. It sounded as though the entire day was a complete blessing from the heavens. She had found her peace and her man, and no one deserved that more than Barb.
We spent the next couple of hours talking about life, my journey, mutual friends and this and that. It was just another one of those special moments of sharing that I had experienced so many times throughout my trip, but this time with someone I truly knew and loved.
After we finished our chit-chat, I dropped Barb off at the Metro and headed back to my campsite at the Greenbelt Park, still questioning whether or not I should publish what I had written earlier in the day.
As I pulled into the park, I continued my drive to the campground, which was located at least a half a mile or so in the very back of the park. While driving down the dark, heavily wooded road a very rare, unique, wise animal made its presence known to me. When I got back to my campsite and looked up the meaning, I knew right then and there that I should keep what I had written earlier in the day to myself.
Owl presents the following wisdom:
- Silent and swift movement
- Seeing behind masks
- Keen sight
- Messenger of secrets and omens
- Link between the dark
- unseen world and the world of light
- Comfort with shadow self, Moon magic, Freedom. – Copyright www.animalspirits.com
I was so grateful for the Owl’s visit and wisdom. Coupled with the song “Perfect Symmetry” by Keane, and my Kabbalah meditation, I believe this article addressed everything I was feeling throughout the day.
I then performed the day’s meditation several times and asked my God to show me ways that I could change, because I knew things had to change now.
I asked that those people that felt the need to make themselves accountable to me in some way would somehow have the strength and courage to do so, in a very loving way. I also asked that I be able to do the same in return for those people that I needed to be accountable. And then I let go of all expectations because I knew that expectations could be just as burdensome as blame.
I resumed my faith in the fact that there is perfect symmetry in the universe. I went to bed around midnight thankful for another insightful day.